A Restless Night

After a restless night I found myself reflecting back onto painful memories of things that disturbed me at the time I heard about them, and somehow just like an anniversary my mind revisited them. I asked the Lord why, as I do quite often,  Lord, why does my mind bring those things back as if to torture me? The Lord answered me swiftly and precisely,” if I made it so you couldn’t remember those things, then you wouldn’t be able remember the good thoughts, the precious memories of the times with my mother and my brother”, and I thought about the comfort I get from reflecting on the days with my mom, those memories are all I have to visit, they are my treasures that are mine that no one can take away, not even death or time. So, I came to the conclusion that I can accept the fact that this same mind that loved my family so much that I’d keep a place in my mind deserved for them has also kept a place for Emmitt Till, George Floyd, and Shaniya as well and those thoughts are not comforting and they are not peaceful, and I’m thankful that He gave me a heart that loves like that, and then I remember it’s His heart I have and so I can.